Has it really been four years?

I've been dreading this day for awhile, and I think about the day my dad passed away four years ago nearly everyday. I replay the day over and over in my head. The loss of a parent is the most difficult experience of my entire life. I think that part of the reason that it is so hard is that I don't have anyone other than my sisters to share it with because none of my friends have had to experience this, which I am thankful for. I know that God is preparing me for the day that I need to comfort my friends. One of the hardest parts of this trial is that I want him to be there for ALL of the boy's special occasions like when Connor had his first at bat during t-ball or when he made an out or when Myles caught lots of line drives and hit lots of homeruns or when Myles lost his first tooth or for him to hear all of the stories from Disney World. And, I miss them not being able to just visit with him and play cowboys and Indians or go to the Baybears' games. I myself miss him immensely. I just want to touch him & talk to him. Lots of times I just close my eyes as tightly as possible so I can get a vivid image and just stay that way until the tears force me to open my eyes. I do know that I will see him again one day, and that is what gets me through the tough times! I know that I really need to add the Disney pics, which will take ages, but I'm still exhausted from the trip & since Kevin's out of town, I don't have much time. I will try tomorrow night and know for definite that I will on Thursday night and Friday. Here are a couple of my favorite pics from my wedding with my dad, who was the most AMAZING dad anyone could ask for & who had the hardest time telling me & my sister "no"!!! I am forever grateful for all of the values & morals that he taught me and that I'm teaching the boys!